


Hold Me

by Master_Langdon



Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: Asphyxiation, Betrayal (Sort Of?), Broken Promises, Character Death, Hypothermia, Loneliness, M/M, Sad Ending, Starvation, Suffering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 17:01:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21561754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Master_Langdon/pseuds/Master_Langdon
Summary: True love based on an extreme experience isn't love at all. Adam knows this. Quite frankly, he doesn't believe in love at all. He thinks it is just an overrated concept, made up to brighten people's view of life.And yet here he is, longing for a man he has known for a mere six hours. A man who tried to kill him more than once.
Relationships: Adam Faulkner-Stanheight/Lawrence Gordon
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Hold Me

Adam cried out in alarm when the other man slid the heavy door closed. He didn't even bother to form any words, he just cried out. The footsteps on the other side of the door faded away as the panicky fog that filled his mind drifted away as well. He regained the ability to form words in his mind, but he could only force one across his lips.

'Don't!' Adam shouted, despite the knowledge that the man on the other side of the door had no way of hearing him. 'Don't! _Don't_!' His mind then gave up on words entirely. He shouted one more time before falling silent. It was hopeless.

He wondered whether the other man was going to go after Lawrence and if Lawrence would be condemned to die as well.

Goosebumps suddenly blanketed the skin on his arms. He didn't want Lawrence to die. He didn't know why, but the idea of Lawrence dying brought tears to his eyes. In the few hours he had spent with the doctor, he had grown quite attached to him. Nothing about the man would've been appealing to him if he hadn't been in this exact situation, and yet he wanted nothing more than to see Lawrence again. Even if it was just for a few moments.

Was _this_ the definition of love? Had he finally experienced love?

_No_ , he concluded. This form of attachment originated from extreme desperation for the companionship of another human being, not from true affection. This was his mind going mad already, right? He had been wrong about the concept of love before, and he had mistaken many things for love. Maybe he had also labeled love as something entirely different. Maybe he had just never experienced love. But this time, he felt something he had never felt before. Words couldn't explain what he felt, he just knew that it was special in many ways.

The tiles on which he chose to rest his body were surprisingly cold. He put himself down on his left side, as to not put too much weight on his injured shoulder. A shiver ran along his spine as the tiles sucked away his body warmth.

_So this is what losing the love of your life feels like_ , Adam thought bitterly as he rested his head on the floor as well. He knew that his thoughts were slightly melodramatic, but he couldn't help thinking them.

Adam brought his knees up to his chest in an attempt to keep a bit of his bodily warmth, but it drifted away nonetheless. The only thing he got in return was a feeling of intense loneliness.

_It's so cold..._

He needed something warm. Perhaps he could use his discarded blouse as a sheet. With one smooth motion, he grabbed it and put it on, but it didn't help. Even though it had dried in the past hours, it didn't serve its purpose.

_Maybe there's something in this room..._

It was too dark to see anything. He couldn't even see his own hand if he held it before his face. If the other man had left the door open, he would've been able to see by now, but he didn't. That left Adam to search instinctively for something to keep himself warm with. Maybe he could remove some of the dead guy's clothing. Blood had stained the man's clothing, but he couldn't care less. Refusing to put on the man's jacket wouldn't make him any less of a murderer.

As he peeled Zepp's jacket off, his thoughts drifted to Lawrence once again. He would give anything to have the oncologist hold him right now.

Adam sighed in contentment when he finally had the jacket around himself. At least he was warm - for now. But he was still unhappy: his heart was still cold with unreciprocated affections.

_Lawrence come back_ , Adam whispered in his mind. _Please, Lawrence... Come back... I need you..._

'I love you', he whispered into nothingness, wrapping his arms around himself to simulate human contact.

The adrenaline of the last few hours had begun to fade, and Adam felt sleepiness creep upon himself. He allowed it to come. He welcomed it, even, in the hopes that he would see Lawrence in his dreams. No matter how he tried to fight the voices that sneered at him inside his head, he kept hearing them. One in particular.

_Lawrence is never coming back_ , it sneered. _Lawrence is going to let you rot in this shithole. He doesn't care about you. You mean nothing to him._

_That's simply not true_ , he tried to convince himself. _He does care about me. That's why he is getting help._


End file.
